I saw this ridiculous story today.
Don't Fly U.S. Carriers
Do you know, they charge international rates to fly to Hawaii from the U.S. and keep the flight path to a minimum of 5:59 so that they don’t have to serve free food (any flight longer than 6:00 as scheduled or international flights must still serve food). The flight is invariably 6:30-6:40 “due to unexpected headwinds”… what??? you are flying WEST across the PACIFIC, you don’t expect headwinds???… try convincing a meteorologist…
Anyway, in Asia, its rare to have a non-international flight, but in places like Japan its commonplace. And no, they don’t serve food from Osaka to Tokyo, the flight is like 45 minutes, but, damn near every flight to or from Taiwan has food service, even to Hong Kong! You don’t have time to unwrap the fork before they collect trays!!! That flight is 1:45 and they serve full meals, free booze and will go get your favorite soft drink from first class if they are out of it in coach!!!
U.S. airlines suck ass. Fat, surly, bitchy, whiney, unattentive… unATTENTIVE flight ATTENDANTS, pay-for-food, ridiculous airline security regulations promoted by airlnes to make money, terrible miles programs, and other bullshit have made me glad I converted to Asian carriers who parter with U.S. carriersand provide absolutely outstanding service…. I can get a GOUT FREE meal on Cathay Pacific… free! see that offered on any U.S. carriers???? haha no, what you see is YOU-PAY “soggy turkey sandwich” (from which I will recieve an immediate gout attack) or “sorry, we are out of that” (because they likely carried 3 of whatever it was). Airlines need to cut costs by reinforcing the notion of SERVICE to their employees.. but hell, what do I know, I live in Asia where tipping is considered rude because doing their fucking job is PART OF THE JOB.
“We know you have choices in flying, and thank you for selecting <insert airline name>, fly with us again.” Fuck you, I’ll use my Marco Polo card and fly on your airline using Cathay Pacific or China Airlines or ANA and they make the money and you can suck my balls… a service provided by Thai Airways and Singapore Airways, by the way… they charge… the same price as a gout-inducing turkey sandwich.
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And if they offer you “breakfast”, get *anything* but the eggs. Now I can eat most anything, but those were the worst excuse for a food product since the last time I had potted meat.
And… never eat smoked salmon or shrimp cocktail on NWA, I have gotten food poisoning EVERY SINGLE TIME I ate that.
And basically Don’t eat the fucking food on U.S. carriers, it sucks, and its not worth 10 dollars, it induces allergies and gout, heart attacks, and food poisoning.
Actually don’t fly in the U.S. it sucks. Plan ahead, drive, eat local… take a bus, take AmTrak, only discount airlines are good. Their service usually rocks. I have never been yelled at once by a Southwest Airlines employee, and oh! Alaskan is pretty good but their little brother Horizon… RULES… Free microbrew on every flight and great food. You just have to face riding in a puddle-jumping prop. I love that… but its not for the faint-hearted.
Stay off:
Delta (Don’t Even Leave The Airport: DELTA!)
NWA (we all know what that means)
AA (Any relation to the 1930′s SA?… Ernst Rohm Anyone?)
United (for pains in the ass)
DO Fly:
Icelandic (Best looking flight attendants on EARTH!)
JAL (would you like your balls tickled or rubbed while I suck you?)
Thai (see JAL)
Singapore (see JAL and have grapes fed do you during the process)
China (yea, we crash a lot, but your last meal will be of Ruth’s Chris proportion and quality).