The Mosh Pit » Feces

Favorite Movie Quotes, Part 2 of ??

Mosh Pit Matt — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:11:30 +0000

Again, presented in no particular order:

Dr. Elsa Schneider: “What’s this one?”
Indiana Jones: “The Ark of the Covenant”
Dr. Elsa Schneider: “Are you sure?”
Indiana Jones: “Pretty sure…”
— Alison Doody and Harrison Ford Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 1989

Vizzini: “Inconcievable!”
Indigo Montoya: “I do not think this word means what you think it means.”
— Wallace Shawn and Mandy Patinkin The Princess Bride 1987

George S. Patton: “When I want ‘em to understand I give it to ‘em loud and I give it to ‘em dirty.”
— George C. Scott Patton 1970

Han Solo: “Keep your distance Chewie, but don’t make it LOOK like you are trying to keep your distance.”
Chewbacca: *inquisitive roar*
Han Solo: “I don’t know, fly casual.”
— Harrison Ford and Peter Mayhew Star Wars, Episode VI, Return of the Jedi 1983

Private Hudson: “We’re on an express elevator to hell, goin’ down!”
— Bill Paxton Aliens 1986

Mr. Pink: “Why do I gotta be Mr. Pink?”
Joe Cabbot: “Because you’re a fucking faggot.”
— Steve Buscemi and Lawrence Tierney Resevoir Dogs 1992

Woman (Mrs. Dennis(?)): “Oh Dennis! there’s some lovely filth down here!”
— Terry Jones Monty Python and the Holy Grail 1975

Claire Standish: “So… academic clubs aren’t the same as other kinds of clubs.”
John Bender: “Ah… but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?”
Brian Johnson: “Well, in physics we… we talk about physics, properties of physics.”
John Bender: “So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?”
— Molly Ringwold, Judd Nelson and Anthony Micheal Hall The Breakfast Club 1985

Lt. Colonel Bill Killgore: “I love the smell of napalm
in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours.
When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one
stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole
hill. Smelled like *sniffing, pondering* victory. Someday this war’s
gonna end…”
— Robert Duvall Apocalypse Now 1979

Nigel Tufnel: “You can’t fucking concentrate because your fucking wife! Simple as that, alright? It’s your fucking wife!”
David St. Hubbins: “She’s not my wife.”
Nigel Tufnel: “Well whatever FUCK she is, alright? You can’t concentrate!”
— Christopher Guest, Micheal McKean This is Spinal Tap 1984

Forrest Gump: “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”
— Tom Hanks Forrest Gump

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Private Pyle I’m gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! ONE! TWO! THREE!”
— R. Lee Ermey Full Metal Jacket 1987

Nathan Arizona: “Man, I don’t know they had Yodas and shit on ‘em”
— Trey Wilson Raising Arizona 1987

Joseph T. Wladislaw: “I wish I could read this, I think it’s dirty.”
— Charles Bronson The Dirty Dozen 1967

Charles De Mar: I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy. I know high school girls.
— Curtis Armstrong Better Off Dead 1985

Inspector Todd: “Don’t think Axel, it makes my dick itch!”
— Gilbert R. Hill Beverly Hills Cop II 1987

Regan MacNiel/Demon: “I know how Burke died…”
— Linda Blaire The Exorcist 1973

Lloyd Dobler: “You must chill! You must Chill!”
— John Cusack Say anything 1989

Elwood Blues: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Jake Blues: Hit it.
— Dan Akroyd and John Belushi The Blues Brothers 1980

Leon: Wake up, time to die.
— Brion James Blade Runner 1982

["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background]
Garland Greene: Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
— Steve Buscemi Con Air 1997

Francisco Cindino: Cy…
Cyrus Grissom: …onara!
— Jesse Borrego and John Malkovich Con Air 1997
(sorry, two quotes from Con Air…it was my most recently viewed movie)… (“onara”=”fart” in Japanese)

Carol Connelly: Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?
Melvin Udall: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. And to prove it, I have not gotten personal, and you have.
— Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson As good as it gets 1997

Spare me my life!

Mosh Pit Matt — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:36:09 +0000

This video …. I just couldn’t stop laughing….

I especially like the knife-wielding dude with the do-rag under his nose….

I thought this was the end-all-be all of videos like this until I found…

But not to be outdone, some Dutch folk came up with this gem NOT WORK SAFE:

I’ll be right back, I gotta run to the store

Mosh Pit Matt — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 00:20:08 +0000

Yup, I just can’t get enough of these, and I’m fresh out…. I just gotta go run down to the store and pick up a bag of…

see more Engrish

The Model of Efficiency….

Mosh Pit Matt — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:41:14 +0000

I recently dined at a fine establishment called “Modern Toilet.”

Here are some photos:

It also tasted as it looks :P

Yeah, I left something behind, under the glass of the sink-top table

Tub Au Gratin

A little bit o' frozen Poo

A bit more Poo

Dig In!

(note: girl behind me had a killer body, see her butt, the front was nice too :P)

And I didn't even have to leave the table

The Place has a REAL toilet….:

Modern Toilet???? A Hole in the floor and a Urinal??

In closing I will comment on the following photo from Fail Blog… it was the inspiration for this journey and this post.
Yes, I traveled 6000 Miles to eat in a Sh!t themed restaurant. Don’t hate me for being awesome.

IS it anything like an In-and-Out burger?

Brought to us by the guys over at Fail Blog

p.s. This post is dedicated to Beth, Patrick, and McDougal

Ich bin Cornholio!

Mosh Pit Matt — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:51:04 +0000

Somehow, WAY more funny in German….

In Honor of Middletown Jeff, who is, as we know, the living embodiment of both Beavis AND Butthead…. btw, dude, I called you to order like 15 years ago…. where is my pizza, I’m still waiting….

And if you liked that, you’ll LOVE this.

The Original Cornholio is here. Enjoy! Long live the Pit Crew! I swear it gets funnier with time.

Best part of all this is that I am a distant friend of Jim Judge, a well known Anthropologist involved in the investigation of Chaco Canyon in the southwestern U.S.. He happens to be the grandfather of Beavis and Butthead. Mike Judge (their creator) is his son. I have TWO links to these animated characters… sad… so sad… :P

I am become death… destroyer of worlds!

Mosh Pit Matt — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:42:11 +0000

Last night… at 2:00 I felt a rumbling.. in my intestines.. and I got up to deliver a brown loaf…

A turd that moves planets.

But… much to my surprise.. I unleashed terror upon the land. As I reached for toilet paper… I felt a sensation.. perhaps… dizzyness? the late hour? the martinis? no no… the earth was moving! I sh@t so much that I caused an EARTHQUAKE!!!… 6.3 on the Richter Scale baby… “‘Lo, I am become death, the destroyer of worlds!” (above photo is not my turd, which I foolishly flushed to ensure the pipes were all still connected… bad.. BAD idea.. but luckily they were…its from Rate My Poo)

My Poop Rules!!!

Eat S4!t and live!

Mosh Pit Matt — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:01:34 +0000

S4!t on a shingle?

Too good for words….

I eat vegetarian meals quite often, but if I’m gonna eat something that looks like poop, it had better be meat-based…

Speaking of which… keep your eyes peeled for a post on “Modern Toilet” a restaurant chain in Taiwan that I ate at with toilet/bathroom themed decor and dishes….

Poop with style!

Mosh Pit Matt — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:42:18 +0000

Force your Poop to Conform to Your will!

Never have boring turd-shaped turds again

(Warning: will not work with liquishit)

Hi! Let me shove 18 inches of “comfort” up your @$$!!

Mosh Pit Matt — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:31:31 +0000

That’s right folks, a new, high-tech way to WIPE YOUR ASS (or presumably someone elses too? Why not share the fun? A family experience!)

Check out this consumer review.