The Ultimate “too cool for you” Salad
by Mosh Pit Matt on December 14, 2009
in Current Depravity, Food, Pictures
This might be the most ridiculous sounding post I have done in a long time, but… the following salad RULES
What you need:
- Chinese chili peppers (in a jar, usually preserved in oil, though dry could work…), chopped into 1/4″, 1/3″. or 1/2″ slices (listed as chopping here because you can buy them pre-chopped in liquid)
- vinegar (Dark could be better, and there is a sweetened vinegar that is only available at Asian markets, but it works well, however you need REGULAR vinegar (And I actually like MALT vinegar as the “regular) as well.)
- sweet light colored Chinese cooking wine (not the dark/red stuff)
- fresh cilantro
- fresh scallions/leeks/green onions
- Chinese chili oil
unsalted and not honey roasted peanuts
soy sauce
2 heaping teaspoons of sugar
Now, at this point you are thinking: “why no amounts?”
Because: everything is “to taste” but its roughly like this:
- the liquids should make about 1.5 cups. sometimes you want/need more, sometimes less
- the scallions/leeks/green onions (mix, match or just one) should be about the amount that fits in a regular colander.
- I usually use about 1/2-3/4 cup of peanuts
- usually I use a handful plus 1/2 of cilantro
- I chop up the chilis and I usually use 3-5 but sometimes more… it depends… they should be fresh or in a jar so that they are soft and let juices out
Preparation:
- Chop the greens into 1.5″ or shorter (but not TOO short) pieces
- Chop the Cilantro into large pieces (individual leafs and stems is good)
- Mix the cilantro, the other greens and the peanuts together.
- Mix the “sauce” of the oils, wine and vinegars
- put the greens on a plate and sprinkle with the peppers (they could be mixed during the mixing process before)
- Pile a handfull of peanuts on top for serving (then mix at the table)
- Drizzle the “sauce” to taste…
(I do this in a salad bowl, but a deep plate/dish makes it look more cool mounded, it just makes mixing more difficult.)
This dish goes GREAT with Chinese food, but it actually goes well with lots of other things, you might find a good way to use it and post it here.
I found this thing at a spicy hot-pot place here in Taipei, but they wouldn’t tell us the recipe (obviously), but I experimented and found this was exactly as the restaurant had made it… In fact, mine is, of course, better ;)
It will keep in the fridge for about a week in a sealed container, but its appearance is best fresh of course.
Peanut Salad with layers of vegitables and peanuts with peanuts on top, before mixing.
Peanut Salad after mixing.
Enjoy!
p.s. you could, of course and as always, add bacon pieces ;)
Employee Branding
by Mosh Pit Matt on November 17, 2009
in Current Depravity, EngRish, Essays, Pictures, Randomness, Tasteless
An Unnamed HR professional with whom regular visitors to this site may be familiar recently called me for help with finding a good slogan to promote her boss and the employees of her company. Some of the following is factual, some is … for entertainment. All of which is utter nonsense…
First:
What the hell is employee branding? This is the image that it conjures for me:
This is branding
Apparently, this is not the definition. It is some ridiculous HR/Marketing term developed to promote employee confidence, consumer confidence, employee welfare, and corporate image.
Next: She wanted me to help with a slogan. Her idea was (pardon the Engrish): “How to Cosmetic <Boss Name>”
To which I replied “that is utterly meaningless.”
And I further replied: I think a good slogan for your boss should be:
“Enormous Penis!”
Viagra, works every time!
I felt I had found a great slogan:
I love it when a plan comes together.
To which she replied:
You sir, are a wanker...
Because apparently her boss looks more like this:
I love you Maurie!
Than this:
Singin' it old skool
To which I replied:
“Cozy Vagina ?”
I love it when a plan comes together.
To which she replied:
Yer an idiot...
To which I replied:
“Employees, the other other other white meat.”
Tasty!!!
To which she replied:
What's wrong with you??
To which I replied:
“Look lady, I’m a damned archaeologist, why are you asking ME?”
To which she replied: *click*
She has not spoken to me in weeks…. *weep*
But the moral of the story is: If someone calls you wanting something you can’t give, just say:
Enormous Penis
and it should take care of the situation.
-MPM
The Mosh Pit way of thinking about this video: Bacon!!!!!!!!
by Mosh Pit Matt on November 9, 2009
in Movies, Music, Randomness, The Mosh Pit, Video
I think this is how Bacon should be advertised…. and definitely keep the spiders out.
(Did I just destroy your childhood?)
THIS is how Nachos are done…
by Mosh Pit Matt on November 2, 2009
in Current Depravity, Food, Pictures
I make my own taco seasoning, but you can use Old El Paso or whatever you like… (making it is easy and if you want to know the recipe, request it in the comments…
Taco Seasoning
Ground Pork and beef (1/2 lb total)
1/2 lb bacon
1 tomato
1/2 medium sized onion
1 can of Low-fat re-fried beans
Shredded Cheddar cheese (I used “taco” cheese for this, but its not necessary)
Shredded Lettuce (used about 1/2 a very small head)
Sour Cream
Chipotle Salsa (but you can use any type you like)
Any damn brand of plan Totilla chips you like
One small (convenience store sized) bag of Nacho Cheesier (or Taco) Doritos
Cook the pork and beef in 1/2 of the taco seasoning and the bacon in the rest, remember that the bacon will produce more grease so its not necessary to add much water for that step of cooking. I personally thing cooking the bacon with the pre-cooked ground meat is best but you can reverse the process. Remember you will BAKE it so don’t over-cook any of the meat.
Spread the chips on the baking surface as shown in the photo below (as you would any nachos)
spread the meat, beans, and onions on top and then sprinkle the cheese on top of that. I also have used Salsa con Queso with mixed results. Personally I think a thick chipotle salsa and Velveeta(tm) is best, but you have to be able to get Velveeta(tm), and that’s not so easy for me sometimes… either way you need some heavier cheese like shredded taco or cheddar.
Bake at about 350 until the whole mess is melted
take it out and apply the sour cream (and guacamole, or whatever you like…)
Spread the tomatoes and lettuce and then use salsa, taco sauce, or whatever your heart desires (we tried all of those) and enjoy.
The result:
The only way to make Nachos
I made this in TAIWAN, so, you may have access to more things than me, but not bad… and damned tasty. My friend Wei seemed to become addicted to it… he kept getting “another helping” haha!
Final step:
Go to the Doctor and get some Lipitor. Then you will be golden…
Bacon is good for me!
That little scamp’s a sharp one.
