The Mosh Pit » Misogyny

Lesson for men…You cannot reason with women.

Mosh Pit Matt — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:54:22 +0000

This video proves that all women complete their argument training by age four. A play-by-play will illustrate this.

Scene: Calm, relaxed male leaning in a doorway, agitated female in aggressive stance.
Female: “yes!”
Male: “No!”
-continue-
-suddenly-
Female: “I said ‘NO!!’”
Male (logically: “I said ‘no’ first.”
Female: -continued argument-
Male: -makes series of logical arguments-
Female: -takes advantage of the confusion and asserts some nonsense authority (represented here by age authority) and repeats her obvious lie-
Male: -becomes so flustered he speaks unintelligibly (but not unintelligently) , then makes first offer to diffuse situation by suggesting that she cease further comment-
Female: -continues inane rant insisting the male be quiet even after he has offered the solution of her being quiet first-
Male: -suggests she leave after she tells him to leave his own house-
Female: -with nothing left in her vapid emotional brain she storms off-

Don’t reason with women… its impossible. Eventually they become like a terminal EPROM error.

Wave your penis in the air until it is covered in bees.

Mosh Pit Matt — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 03:20:38 +0000

I guess this is why my penis is always swollen…

Employee Branding

Mosh Pit Matt — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:35:46 +0000

An Unnamed HR professional with whom regular visitors to this site may be familiar recently called me for help with finding a good slogan to promote her boss and the employees of her company. Some of the following is factual, some is … for entertainment. All of which is utter nonsense…

First:

What the hell is employee branding? This is the image that it conjures for me:

This is branding

Apparently, this is not the definition. It is some ridiculous HR/Marketing term developed to promote employee confidence, consumer confidence, employee welfare, and corporate image.

Next: She wanted me to help with a slogan. Her idea was (pardon the Engrish): “How to Cosmetic ”

To which I replied “that is utterly meaningless.”

And I further replied: I think a good slogan for your boss should be:

“Enormous Penis!”

Viagra, works every time!

I felt I had found a great slogan:

I love it when a plan comes together.

To which she replied:

You sir, are a wanker...

Because apparently her boss looks more like this:

I love you Maurie!

Than this:

Singin' it old skool

To which I replied:

“Cozy Vagina ?”

I love it when a plan comes together.

To which she replied:

Yer an idiot...

To which I replied:

“Employees, the other other other white meat.”

Tasty!!!

To which she replied:

What's wrong with you??

To which I replied:
“Look lady, I’m a damned archaeologist, why are you asking ME?”

To which she replied: *click*

She has not spoken to me in weeks…. *weep*

But the moral of the story is: If someone calls you wanting something you can’t give, just say:

Enormous Penis

and it should take care of the situation.
-MPM

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Dammit, why does Japan get all the good game shows?

Thrasher — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:45:45 +0000

While I don’t speak the lingo, I believe the gist is: Get some bikini-clad hotties and have them extract a marble from phallic-shaped pieces of ice in whatever manner they see fit.

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Eat this Post-Modernist hags….

Mosh Pit Matt — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:19:45 +0000

If Feminism is a modern concept… and post-modernism is “in” and the “correct” way of thinking…

Then logically I should come to the same following conclusion if I want to keep up with the times…

(from Zach over at Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

MPM’s note:

I do believe in equality for women and men, my mother is one of the most assertive successful women I know, but she is ladylike, feminine and a great mom to my brother and I and fantastic loving and affectionate wife to my dad… you CAN be both a powerful woman and a great mom and spouse, but its not GIVEN, you have to EARN it… Men can be both too, and have to earn it too… but I guess knowing how stupid people are about this stuff is exactly why I thought this comic was particularly funny… people need to get over themselves and stop trying to be cool and just get shit done…

I also fully understand the post-modern critique, but its not adequate in and of itself for all applications, particularly in understanding human behavior… sorry you cultural studies, PoMo cultural anthropologists, Sociologists, and Psychologists…

I recently had a counseling psychologist say “you really need to learn more about cultural differences” to me… ME…

Those of you who know me… know EXACTLY what kind of shit-storm that unleashed upon that “counselor” with her U. Cal degree.

“Um… you stick to the head-shrinking, I’ll stick to the culture stuff, o.k.?” Was about the nicest thing I said to her. I should have said “you really need to learn more about how people formulate thoughts and emotions…”

PoMo and “I know culture” people who have no idea what the Standard Cross Cultural Sample is or who George Peter Murdock was have no business even talking to me. I will eat them for breakfast. I appreciate understanding the bias a scholar brings to their study and working to eliminate or mediate its effects… but… the tripe that comes out now… YIKES!!

This is why I consider myself a “neo-modernist” (or “neo-processualist for you “dirt monkeys” who read this blog…)

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Who doesn’t like anime?

Thrasher — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 02:24:38 +0000

Seriously, what’s there not to like?

(oYo) *oink* (oYo)

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Thrasher — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:45:52 +0000

see more Funny Graphs

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Thrasher — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:20:17 +0000

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Whooty!

Thrasher — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:07:06 +0000

Being the quintessential connoisseur of highbrow entertainment, I present to you The Whooty (White Girl With A Booty):

EMBED-FOUNDRY CAMS: Shes a WHOOTY – Watch more free videos

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Thrasher — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:13:35 +0000

…and if I’m not mistaken, in 20 years Mosh Pit Matt will finally realize his dream of becoming a cowboy:

From the folks at Fun Times Had.

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Godda go now…