Repeat after me: Prenuptial agreement

Thrasher — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:08:56 +0000

After his How to Finance Your Divorce one man show success in Oslo in 2009, John Cleese is back on tour in the UK under the amended title, Alimony Tour.

The Monty Python actor’s divorce from third wife, Alyce Faye Echelberger, led to a pay out of £12 million.

In Norway, Cleese told audiences: “I’m here, my friends, because frankly I need the money.”

Cleese’s well known dry, black humour is now generating income based on details of his divorce: “Think what I’d have had to pay Alyce if she had contributed anything to the relationship.”

— The London Telegraph

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Yeah? Well, so’s your mother!

Thrasher — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 23:54:20 +0000

You know, I have a damn good memory, but I’m not sure I could remember all of these and keep them ready for the perfect use:

I wish they’d included stuff from the “Abuse” section of Monty Python’s Argument Clinic sketch, though.

Favorite Movie Quotes, Part 2 of ??

Mosh Pit Matt — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:11:30 +0000

Again, presented in no particular order:

Dr. Elsa Schneider: “What’s this one?”
Indiana Jones: “The Ark of the Covenant”
Dr. Elsa Schneider: “Are you sure?”
Indiana Jones: “Pretty sure…”
— Alison Doody and Harrison Ford Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 1989

Vizzini: “Inconcievable!”
Indigo Montoya: “I do not think this word means what you think it means.”
— Wallace Shawn and Mandy Patinkin The Princess Bride 1987

George S. Patton: “When I want ‘em to understand I give it to ‘em loud and I give it to ‘em dirty.”
— George C. Scott Patton 1970

Han Solo: “Keep your distance Chewie, but don’t make it LOOK like you are trying to keep your distance.”
Chewbacca: *inquisitive roar*
Han Solo: “I don’t know, fly casual.”
— Harrison Ford and Peter Mayhew Star Wars, Episode VI, Return of the Jedi 1983

Private Hudson: “We’re on an express elevator to hell, goin’ down!”
— Bill Paxton Aliens 1986

Mr. Pink: “Why do I gotta be Mr. Pink?”
Joe Cabbot: “Because you’re a fucking faggot.”
— Steve Buscemi and Lawrence Tierney Resevoir Dogs 1992

Woman (Mrs. Dennis(?)): “Oh Dennis! there’s some lovely filth down here!”
— Terry Jones Monty Python and the Holy Grail 1975

Claire Standish: “So… academic clubs aren’t the same as other kinds of clubs.”
John Bender: “Ah… but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?”
Brian Johnson: “Well, in physics we… we talk about physics, properties of physics.”
John Bender: “So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?”
— Molly Ringwold, Judd Nelson and Anthony Micheal Hall The Breakfast Club 1985

Lt. Colonel Bill Killgore: “I love the smell of napalm
in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours.
When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one
stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole
hill. Smelled like *sniffing, pondering* victory. Someday this war’s
gonna end…”
— Robert Duvall Apocalypse Now 1979

Nigel Tufnel: “You can’t fucking concentrate because your fucking wife! Simple as that, alright? It’s your fucking wife!”
David St. Hubbins: “She’s not my wife.”
Nigel Tufnel: “Well whatever FUCK she is, alright? You can’t concentrate!”
— Christopher Guest, Micheal McKean This is Spinal Tap 1984

Forrest Gump: “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”
— Tom Hanks Forrest Gump

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Private Pyle I’m gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! ONE! TWO! THREE!”
— R. Lee Ermey Full Metal Jacket 1987

Nathan Arizona: “Man, I don’t know they had Yodas and shit on ‘em”
— Trey Wilson Raising Arizona 1987

Joseph T. Wladislaw: “I wish I could read this, I think it’s dirty.”
— Charles Bronson The Dirty Dozen 1967

Charles De Mar: I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy. I know high school girls.
— Curtis Armstrong Better Off Dead 1985

Inspector Todd: “Don’t think Axel, it makes my dick itch!”
— Gilbert R. Hill Beverly Hills Cop II 1987

Regan MacNiel/Demon: “I know how Burke died…”
— Linda Blaire The Exorcist 1973

Lloyd Dobler: “You must chill! You must Chill!”
— John Cusack Say anything 1989

Elwood Blues: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Jake Blues: Hit it.
— Dan Akroyd and John Belushi The Blues Brothers 1980

Leon: Wake up, time to die.
— Brion James Blade Runner 1982

["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background]
Garland Greene: Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
— Steve Buscemi Con Air 1997

Francisco Cindino: Cy…
Cyrus Grissom: …onara!
— Jesse Borrego and John Malkovich Con Air 1997
(sorry, two quotes from Con Air…it was my most recently viewed movie)… (“onara”=”fart” in Japanese)

Carol Connelly: Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?
Melvin Udall: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. And to prove it, I have not gotten personal, and you have.
— Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson As good as it gets 1997

Flashbacks, anyone? (Holy Hand grenade edition)

Mosh Pit Matt — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:24:18 +0000

Some of you you visited the Mosh Pit during its… “run” may have seen the small bottle of Chambord we kept in the kitchen cabinet. We consistently referred to it as “The Holy Hand grenade.” It seems we are not the only ones to make this connection…

see more Celeb Look-A-Likes

Do Not Underestimate the Power of the Force….

Mosh Pit Matt — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:33:20 +0000

Its almost as good as eating Yaki Niku, drinking Samichlaus and then doing drugs while having hot sex with someone WAY better than you deserve…..

He has a wife you know…

Mosh Pit Matt — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:46:41 +0000