Gillian Anderson — Much like Thrasher my #1 has not changed. She pretty much has everything that suits my taste in women. I was never a big fan of The X-Files, but I watched it religiously just to catch glimpses of her. When people ask “what is your ‘type,'” I invariably answer “Gillian Anderson.”
Kim Kardashian— Jumping from nothing to second is this lovely specimen. I knew a girl in Japan that looked a bit like her, only not in all the same places… Sometimes my kinkiest fantasies involve Kim Kardashian…
Michelle Yeoh — Retaining her strong 3rd is one of my all time favorites. I repeat myself: not only is she stunningly beautiful, she also has a class and sophistication that are rare in many Asian actresses today and she has a grace and beauty of movement that can almost certainly be attributed to her ability to completely mop the floor with mere mortals.
Beyoncé Knowles — I don’t see this “Child” being bumped from 4th anytime soon. She’s always got it goin’ on… She’s also the only Austin Powers’ girl to remain on the list…
Natalie Portman — In my growing list of “chicks that make geeks drool” I have to add Padamame or PandaBear or whatever her name is… I don’t care if she’s preggers, I just care it isn’t mine! And as Harry Plinkett said “Who wouldn’t want to dock their probe into Natalie’s Port… man…
Ziyi Zhang — It took me a while, but after watching “Horsemen” for the 3rd time, she made the list. She has been in a bunch of good movies, she’s smart and talented, and in her role in the Horsemen, I kinda think she was playing herself… which gives her points for “Goth Chick” appeal.
Cindy Crawford — Never lower than 7th.. I’ve been in love with Cindy since High School. The Superficial has a comment about her that she will be the hottest chick in the nursing home. She is aging nicely I must say. (She’ll be on here until I die.)
Cate Blanchett — Still in at 8th is the mysterious, stunning, talented and gorgeous Cate… my previous commentary still holds true.
Jessica Alba — Keeping honors and moving up to 9th is the increadibly sexy and quite aquatic Jessica Alba… mmm I still dream about a trip to Palau or Rota with her…
Winona Ryder — Dropping to last is this Brat-packer. This year she gets added cred (and salvation for the list) for coming out as Spock’s mom!!!
Kind of at a loss at what to post, so I’m updating 2009’s Laminated List for the current year. The only difference being that I’ve somehow let a new gal into my life, and as cool as she is, I’m not sure she’d really sign off on this. Oh well, what she doesn’t know won’t ruin my sex life.
This year’s selections:
Charisma Carpenter — Retaining her #1 spot from last time, I’m still giving the Buffy alum top billing.
Kim Kardashian — Yes, she’s a bit of an airhead, but those lips, those breasts, and DAT ASS! Sweet gods of Olympus, that ass… Sorry, where was I?
Dita Von Teese — Combining elegance with raw sex appeal, Miss Von Teese moves from the former #9 position to #3.
Kate Beckinsale — Moving from #7 to #4 this year, and I hear she’s supposed to be returning to the Selene role in the fourth Underworld movie. Hopefully, the skintight outfit is returning, too.
Megan Fox — Miss Fox retains her former position on my list, although she gave up her Transformers role due to her mouth getting her in trouble with Michael Bay. Oh well, she was pretty fine in Jennifer’s Body, even though the movie itself was kind of crappy.
Kelly Brook — There was really only one reason to see Piranha 3-D, and that was Kelly Brook, swimming naked for around twenty straight minutes in 3-D. This, my friends, is why the technology was invented.
Angelina Jolie — Angelina drops to #7, because in The Tourist, she appeared to have lost too much weight and it didn’t do her any favors. Still, Angelina’s off-days are better than most women’s best.
Marisa Miller — Not sure how I forgot her last time, but this Victoria Secret model is another example of women who’ve only gotten better-looking with age.
Evangeline Lilly — Honestly, she was the best part of the Lost TV series. She’s got that "girl next door" look that just made me want to rescue her, bring her home, and keep her locked in my basement for the next twenty years because the outside world could never appreciate our love, and… Um, sorry….
Michelle Yeoh — The Asian superstar also holds her position due to Asians somehow magically staying hot until they’re like sixty or something.