The Mosh Pit » sex

Oh, Japan… You do so crack me up!

Thrasher — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 18:00:45 +0000

I assume this is from an English slang book?

In any case, it is nice to see the kids are taking language lessons from Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, though.

That might be a bit much, even for me

Thrasher — Thu, 19 May 2011 03:22:29 +0000

Chelsea Charms and her 164 XXX boobs: Related posts: This is what happens when Roger Ebert drinks a bit too much Dammit, why does Japan get all the good game shows? Everything I know about lovin’ I learned from Skweezy Related posts:

Mosh Pit Matt’s Laminated List – 2011 Edition

Mosh Pit Matt — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:40:34 +0000

Gillian Anderson — Much like Thrasher my #1 has not changed. She pretty much has everything that suits my taste in women. I was never a big fan of The X-Files, but I watched it religiously just to catch glimpses of her. When people ask “what is your ‘type,’” I invariably answer “Gillian Anderson.”
Kim Kardashian— Jumping from nothing to second is this lovely specimen. I knew a girl in Japan that looked a bit like her, only not in all the same places… Sometimes my kinkiest fantasies involve Kim Kardashian…
Michelle Yeoh — Retaining her strong 3rd is one of my all time favorites. I repeat myself: not only is she stunningly beautiful, she also has a class and sophistication that are rare in many Asian actresses today and she has a grace and beauty of movement that can almost certainly be attributed to her ability to completely mop the floor with mere mortals.
Beyoncé Knowles — I don’t see this “Child” being bumped from 4th anytime soon. She’s always got it goin’ on… She’s also the only Austin Powers’ girl to remain on the list…
Natalie Portman — In my growing list of “chicks that make geeks drool” I have to add Padamame or PandaBear or whatever her name is… I don’t care if she’s preggers, I just care it isn’t mine! And as Harry Plinkett said “Who wouldn’t want to dock their probe into Natalie’s Port… man…
Ziyi Zhang — It took me a while, but after watching “Horsemen” for the 3rd time, she made the list. She has been in a bunch of good movies, she’s smart and talented, and in her role in the Horsemen, I kinda think she was playing herself… which gives her points for “Goth Chick” appeal.
Cindy Crawford — Never lower than 7th.. I’ve been in love with Cindy since High School. The Superficial has a comment about her that she will be the hottest chick in the nursing home. She is aging nicely I must say. (She’ll be on here until I die.)
Cate Blanchett — Still in at 8th is the mysterious, stunning, talented and gorgeous Cate… my previous commentary still holds true.
Jessica Alba — Keeping honors and moving up to 9th is the increadibly sexy and quite aquatic Jessica Alba… mmm I still dream about a trip to Palau or Rota with her…
Winona Ryder — Dropping to last is this Brat-packer. This year she gets added cred (and salvation for the list) for coming out as Spock’s mom!!!

Honorable Mentions:

Molly Ringwold
Mia Sara
Yuna Natsuo
Jennifer Grey
Megumi Yasu

Thrasher’s Laminated List – 2011 Edition

Thrasher — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 23:57:40 +0000

Kind of at a loss at what to post, so I’m updating 2009′s Laminated List for the current year. The only difference being that I’ve somehow let a new gal into my life, and as cool as she is, I’m not sure she’d really sign off on this. Oh well, what she doesn’t know won’t ruin my sex life.

This year’s selections:

Charisma Carpenter — Retaining her #1 spot from last time, I’m still giving the Buffy alum top billing.
Kim Kardashian — Yes, she’s a bit of an airhead, but those lips, those breasts, and DAT ASS! Sweet gods of Olympus, that ass… Sorry, where was I?
Dita Von Teese — Combining elegance with raw sex appeal, Miss Von Teese moves from the former #9 position to #3.
Kate Beckinsale — Moving from #7 to #4 this year, and I hear she’s supposed to be returning to the Selene role in the fourth Underworld movie. Hopefully, the skintight outfit is returning, too.
Megan Fox — Miss Fox retains her former position on my list, although she gave up her Transformers role due to her mouth getting her in trouble with Michael Bay. Oh well, she was pretty fine in Jennifer’s Body, even though the movie itself was kind of crappy.
Kelly Brook — There was really only one reason to see Piranha 3-D, and that was Kelly Brook, swimming naked for around twenty straight minutes in 3-D. This, my friends, is why the technology was invented.
Angelina Jolie — Angelina drops to #7, because in The Tourist, she appeared to have lost too much weight and it didn’t do her any favors. Still, Angelina’s off-days are better than most women’s best.
Marisa Miller — Not sure how I forgot her last time, but this Victoria Secret model is another example of women who’ve only gotten better-looking with age.
Evangeline Lilly — Honestly, she was the best part of the Lost TV series. She’s got that "girl next door" look that just made me want to rescue her, bring her home, and keep her locked in my basement for the next twenty years because the outside world could never appreciate our love, and… Um, sorry….
Michelle Yeoh — The Asian superstar also holds her position due to Asians somehow magically staying hot until they’re like sixty or something.

Honorable Mentions:

Michelle Pfeiffer
Jessica Alba
Kourtney Kardashian
Catherine Zeta Jones
Felicia Day

Donuts and Fries… DEVO rocks!!

Mosh Pit Matt — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 06:24:23 +0000

Been on a New Wave kick of late… so here is my offering…

Dude!!! Your tits work!!?!?!

Mosh Pit Matt — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 03:32:48 +0000

Duuuuuuude!!

In having a rather bizarre conversation with a former frequent visitor to the Mosh Pit who just had a second baby, I suggested that her husband help with the breast feeding… I suggested that I thought his tits were non-functional but I had never tried… then I thought… I wonder if its possible. Through the miracle of the interwebs, I found my answer on Wikipidea.. source of all that is true and factual.

It is a condition called gynecomastia. It can also be a side effect of anti-psychotic drugs, but I have never lactated.. er… anyway, More information can be found here.

IKEA

Mosh Pit Matt — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 09:06:32 +0000

This conversation started with the discussion of the tragic interstate accident near Louisville, Kentucky.. and it went to a … strange place ala Mosh Pit…

Thrasher says: “The tractor-trailer is registered in Alabama. According to Kentucky State Police, the tractor-trailer lost control, crossed the median, hit the van, then hit the rock wall, and burst into flames”
MPM says: it became gay?
Thrasher says: Yeah… oh….Kiiiiinda speaking of which Homework for next class:
MPM says: “Dr. Berman: ‘write procedure ‘Bugger””
Thrasher says: We’re supposed to pick a song and give a 2-5 minute presentation of how it was significant in American culture….
I’m debating using Queen’s “Body Language”, since it was the first video ever banned by MTV, Got a better suggestion?
MPM says: http://www.ilike.com/artist/The+Outhere+Brothers/track/I+Wanna+Fuck+You+in+the+Ass
thats the only think I can think of
Thrasher says: rofl
hmmm… That was akin to my other idea of Slayer’s “Reign In Blood” because it’s *freaking awesome*, and that’s all I had
MPM says: hahahaha
ROFL
Thrasher says: The problem with the Queen song is that it’s totally unremarkable otherwise.
MPM says: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnwDKz0r6fY its just wrong…
Thrasher says: Are you searching YT for “ass fuck” or something?
MPM says: no, it came up as related
haha
Thrasher says: nice
MPM says: once in a while I’m looking up something totally innocuous for my students and something unimaginably pornographic comes up
Thrasher says: Interesting

Hmmm… Wonder if I can work this one in: 1991: First Rocker to Eat the Remains of His Dead Bandmate
EURONYMOUS
Norwegian black-metal band Mayhem’s frontman Dead blows his own head apart with a shotgun. Guitarist Euronymous cooks up Dead’s brain fragments in a stew with ham, vegetables and paprika, then chows down.
MPM says: ROFL
go with that, but wait
Thrasher says: Yeha, not really a song
MPM says: it didn’t necessarily influence AMERICAN culture
Thrasher says: just an interesting factoid
MPM says: sounds more like a representation of Scanadanavian living
but if you can work in an Ikea reference
I think you have a shot
Thrasher says: rofl

I wonder what he thought about the brown hole in space…

Mosh Pit Matt — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:10:51 +0000

Yet more uses for this catch phrase!

From the folks at Comixed

Three wishes well-spent

Thrasher — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:37:04 +0000

If you like this, then there’s more good stuff over at SMBC Theater.

Reduced blood flow to the brain can induce unconsciousness…

Mosh Pit Matt — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:49:26 +0000

While discussing recent health problems, Thrasher informed me that, because his unit is roughly in scale (meaning relative to his body size) with this one:

Monsters of cock!

he has been suffering from bouts of blacking out from the huge amount of blood being withheld in his enormous penis.

To which I replied: Boo face for you!! (see below)

Extreme Boo face!!!

To which he said “its o.k., I usually can’t keep it going long enough to make a difference”:

Worse than ShamWow Vince?

But I then informed him of my problem with extraordinarily large balls:

Actual drawing of MPM

but that I shoot enormous loads:

I got sperm that jingle jangle jingles!

so I figured it was o.k….